Blimp Threat Takes
Incredible New Twist
By Sky King
 Aviation Correspondent

(Oakland, Calif., Jan. 10, 2001) -- "Horrific! Just horrific!"

Lt. Gen. Abnes Carthen, founder and commander of the Blimp Spotters Brigade, had that reaction to the Jan. 9 incident here in which an immense blimp apparently freed itself from its human captors and embarked on an unmanned mission of its own mysterious choosing.

The 143-foot behemoth made its erratic way eastward for 20 minutes before its five-mile, low altitude journey was brought to a halt by snagging on a restaurant roof antenna along the east side of San Francisco Bay. The escapee was subdued by Oakland firefighters, who hacked at it with axes and punched holes in its sides with poles to keep it down.

"It seems as if the firefighters were treating the blimp as a living thing," Carthen observed, "much like the ending of a B movie in which terrified tribesmen mount a massive, primitive attack on a huge beast threatening their community."

"This incident forces us to rethink our position on blimps and their devious missions," Carthen added. "We have been concentrating on the operators of these airships. Now, it seems that we must also direct our attention to the airships themselves. We simply cannot ignore the possibility that blimps may be capable of conceiving and executing plans on their own. This 'accident' is not what it appears."

Carthen pointed out the highly suspicious circumstances of the Oakland incident which led to her latest postulations:

 Carthen noted that if this blimp had not been captured by an antenna, it is entirely possible that it would have made it to the open sea and made good on its escape and done serious damage to the City of San Francisco along the way. The Blimp Spotters Brigade can only hypothesize about the escapee's actual intent.

"Perhaps it simply wished to join its free roaming cousins, the escaped weather balloons, in their high atmosphere society," Carthen playfully suggested. "One thing that we know for certain is that we can no longer remain so blissfully unaware. Stay alert; they may be on to us."

Blimp Spotters Organize
By Diane Donaldson
 National Correspondent

(San Francisco, Calif., Oct. 31, 2000) -- "Look to the skies. Look to the skies, my fellow Americans. The blimps are above us, and they need to be watched. They need to be watched very, very closely."

Thus declared Brig. Gen. Abnes Carthen, founder and commander of the Blimp Spotters Brigade, which held its first general meeting here today. The extent to which her views are shared by concerned citizens was self-evident in the more than 6,000 brigade volunteers who packed the Moscone Center.

The three-day event, in addition to Carthen's keynote speech, included numerous seminars on the fine art of blimp spotting. Venders did a brisk business selling brigade uniforms, insignias of rank and a host of blimp-spotting aids, including binoculars, high-powered telescopes and handsome, leather-bound blimp spotting logs.

"It all started for me one day when I saw the Goodyear Blimp canvassing the Bay area on a regular basis," Carthen recalled. "I didn't think much of it at the time, but the very next evening, as I was telling my significant other of this unusual appearance, I happened to look out -- and there it was again!"

Carthen became immensely suspicious. After all, she reasoned, what better way to be planning nefarious deeds than by piloting an apparently harmless, friendly blimp? She began taking copious notes detailing the time, date, flight patterns and general behaviors of the blimps that now seemed to regularly cast a dark shadow over her previously sunny existence.

"Fans of sporting events have long been accustomed to seeing a blimp overhead, perhaps lulling them into a false sense of security when these airships appear for no apparent reason," Carthen noted. "That may be just what blimp operators want you to think."

Americans should not, Carthen said, take blimps or their spotters as anything less than deadly serious. The biggest fool of all, she added, is the fool who believes blimp spotters are fools.

"What if everyone took that attitude?" Carthen said. "Would our country be safe? No! Nefarious no-do-gooders would know of this weakness in our defense and certainly they would take advantage. Countries aspiring to overtake us would no doubt send weapons of destruction -- not to mention blimps loaded with people -- into our skies and no one would be safe!

"Rumor has it that Amelia Earhart was working with our own government on just such a project when she "disappeared." And Elvis . . . major flatulent individual whose work for the government has long been kept a secret. It is rumored that this blimp -- his ship, not him -- cut loose and is still orbiting, still sustained.

"I'm really surprised you weren't aware of all this, Miss Donaldson."

Carthen emphasized that brigade members are to take no hostile action against the blimps they spot. They are only to record as many details of the experience as they can, then dispatch them to BSB headquarters. There, they will be compiled, compared, analyzed for patterns and made part of a permanent record intended to establish the long-term plans blimp operators hold in store for America.

"We also want these blimpists to know, in no uncertain terms, that many, many eyes are being trained upon them at all times," Carthen said.

"We fully expect to expand our scope to the international level within a very short time," Carthen added. "Who knows what blimpish threats are also being faced by our NATO allies and other nations in which we hold a vested interest?