Borg Alumni Association Headquarters
10011 Assimilation Way
Cyborg City, Borg Home World
Collective Wants To
Hi! How have you been? Bet
you haven't thought much about us since you've been out on your own, right? Not in a
good way, that is.
We just thought you would
like to know that we've formed the Borg Alumni Association, and we're actively
reaching out to former Borg who have left the Collective and returned to their
individual lives. Admit it, you miss the Hive Mind, just a little bit, don't
you? Couldn't you use a little break from all that daily decision making?
Are we talking
reassimilation here? No, absolutely not!
Today's Borg is a friendlier, happier
species. We no longer see resistance as futile. Our encounters with the
Federation and Species 8472 have made us realize that adding the unique cultural
aspects and technologies
of other species to our own at every opportunity is sometimes the less than
politically correct thing to do.
Our standard first
contact message has been changed to reflect our attitude adjustment. In
case you haven't seen one of our new subspace video commercials, it goes: "We are the Borg.
Get to know us. Assimilation is an option."
Well, enough droning on.
Did I mention that we are also actively working on our sense of humor?
I would really like you to
consider joining the BAA. We offer many benefits not available to the general
galactic population, including deep discounts on popular magazines and two-for-one meal
deals at fine restaurants. We also offer an exceptionally affordable insurance policy which
extends the warranties of any permanent Borg implants you may still have. Hey,
things go wrong, why not go to the people who know your attachments best?
about getting in touch with one of ambassador drones today?
I look forward to hearing
from you soon. Please comply.
BAA Director of Recruitment