Career Politician
Although not quite yet as rare as Competent Manager, Career Politician is
definitely in a declining numbers situation. Accordingly, we dispatched
QuestionMan for an
interview while this species was still readily accessible.
QuestionMan: You've been elected to a variety of
political offices for more than 20 years now. When did you realize that you were in the
game for life?
Career Politician: I've known since kindergarten that I was destined to be
a man of the people. I was collecting for the milk run one day when I realized how much I
enjoyed handling other people's money. It wasn't long before I could divert some of these
coins for my own use while convincing my fellow toddlers that I was acting in their own
best interests.
QM: So, abusing the trust of your constituents is
part of the job?
CP: Of course it is. Getting away with something is a big rush for most human
beings. In my profession, I get that rush every day.
QM: You got a much earlier start than I would have
guessed. Where did you go from there?
CP: Well, back in those days, it was important to have a long, unbroken track
record as you advanced your political career. You had to hold club and, even better,
classwide offices, while you were in school. In college, you got a degree in law.
Somewhere in there, you joined a political party, worked in the campaigns of others and
became an aide to someone who had succeeded. By the time you were ready to run for office
yourself, you had the knowledge and contacts you needed to run a serious campaign of your
own.
QM: That's certainly not true anymore.
CP: Unfortunately not. These days, anyone with name recognition or a large
bankroll is a credible political candidate, regardless of experience. If you have both
fame and fortune, of course, political office is virtually yours for the taking. If you
have only one or the other, your chances are less certain but still good. That's why
celebrities like Sonny Bono, Clint Eastwood, John Glenn and Jesse Ventura are elected,
while wealthy businessmen like Ross Perot are not.
QM: Has a history of political involvement become a
liability in today's election campaigns?
CP: Absolutely. If a newcomer can manage to attach the label "career
politician" to an incumbent, it's almost surely the kiss of death. For years, new
candidates have attempted to present their lack of political experience as an asset,
claiming that their freshness means they owe no political favors. Voters who have
swallowed this line of reasoning fail to realize, however, that anyone who owes no favors
is also owed no favors. That severely limits legislative effectiveness. More recently,
political newcomers have succeeded in making an issue of office longevity. They promise
voters that, if elected, they will not stay in office for more than a term or two. It
sounds good, but what it really means is that just about the time they are beginning to
learn their new jobs, they will quit. If voters cast themselves in the role of what they
really are when they put candidates in office, that of employer, they would not accept
this kind of Bizarro logic.
QM: How long before the career politician goes on
the endangered species list?
CP: I don't think we'll ever get there. We may not be holding as many elected
offices 10 or 20 years down the road, but we will always be behind the scenes. The strings
of celebrity puppets must be pulled by people who know what they are doing. That's the
only way the country will survive.
QM: Well, I guess we'll end this. I'm sure you have
lots of work to do.
CP: Yeah, I've got to get down to the gym. I don't want to miss my ring time.
The wrestling pro there has some new moves to show me.
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