The
Procrastinator
Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow. How many people do you
know who subscribe to that maddeningly bass-ackwards philosophy?
QuestionMan: I'm glad to finally meet you. This is
what, the fourth appointment we've scheduled for this interview?
The Procrastinator: Really? I had no idea, remind me to apologize to you
before I leave, would you?
QM: I have a feeling I'm going to need to do that.
So, delaying things that you really need to do has always been a way of life for you?
TP: I guess so. My earliest childhood memories are of the numerous
"accidents" I had because I kept postponing my trips to the bathroom. The few
friends that I had nicknamed me Stinky.
QM: How embarrassing. I, ah, assume you no longer
have problems in that area?
TP: No. Well, not very often, any more. Even we procrastinators need to
establish some basic priorities, you know.
QM: That's a relief, no pun intended. Has your
tendency toward procrastination held any consequences for your employment?
TP: I'll say. In the last 10 years, I've lost 26 jobs, mostly because of
attendance problems. I'm doing better, though, since my wife replaced my alarm clock with
one that doesn't have a "snoozebar."
QM: You're married? How did you ever manage to get
to the church on time?
TP: Actually, I didn't. I mean, I always felt like I had plenty of time to
get there, but somehow, I never got going until the church was empty. Finally, my
girlfriend took matters into her own hands. I answered the doorbell one day and found that
she had arranged the whole wedding in my house. I told everyone that there was plenty of
time, but she wouldn't hear of it, wouldn't even let me change clothes, before we said the
"I do's." We've been happily married for 23 years. One of these days, I swear,
I'm going to get those wedding gifts exchanged.
QM: Just out of curiosity, what kind of shape is
your house in?
TP: Well, it's a little rundown. The city attorney's office was nice
enough to send me a long list of required corrective actions a month or two ago. I've
taken a good look at it, and I plan to get to work on those things real soon. Honest.
QM: How about indoors?
TP: No problem there. My wife is so super organized. She has everything
scheduled, and she never lets a task go undone. Of course, that includes giving me daily
reminders about the things that I need to do. I don't mind the nagging that much anymore,
although I wish she would put it off once in a while.
QM: I think we've given our readers a fair idea of
what you're all about, so how about we wind this interview up? No doubt you have places to
go, people to see and things to do.
TP: What? Oh, yeah, sure I do, but I am in no hurry. They'll wait. If
you're booting me out of your office, though, I guess I'll have to go now.
QM: Seems like somebody needs to give you a boot to
get you going. Hey, what about that apology?
TP: Right, I've got to do that. Thanks for reminding me. Would tomorrow be
soon enough?
[ Home ]