Netcronym Nonsense
Q: What's with all these capital letters in chat rooms and on
e-mail? How am I supposed to know what they mean?
A: WTG! An excellent pair of questions that clearly show GMTA. FWIW, I too have
been vexed by these letter freaks. I personally believe that WYSIWYG should mean exactly
WYSIWYG. With more and more newbies logging on the net, I have a feeling that things will
change RSN. TTFN. BCNU.
Survey, Schmurvey
Q: Who are you trying to kid with your "survey"? Isn't it obvious to everyone that you are more
interested in gathering potential advertising demographics than improving the
Globe-Guardian?
A: A most perceptive question set. So, you've found us out. In the unlikely
event that advertisers ever find their way to the Globe-Guardian, we would like to be able
to empirically demonstrate that those who visit our site are intelligent, economically
elite individuals who thrive on internet purchases. Congratulations. You may qualify.
Balloon Baloney
Q: I have read some seriously ridiculous stories in the
Globe-Guardian during your brief existence, but your weather balloon story
(FutureNews™ November, 1998 Sixth Balloon Joins Pack)
hits new heights. What were you thinking?
A: A high-level question. Some news stories are simply irresistible. A weather
balloon escaping its captors and defying jet attacks? We had no choice but to employ
PEEKING™ technology to see what the future might hold. Wouldn't you be more
than a little impressed by an airborne object 300 feet tall which seemed to have a mind of
its own?
Up with Yuppies
Q: I take extreme umbrage to the genocidal attitude taken toward
young urban professionals (yuppies) in your last issue ("World economy finally seeks help"). Don't you know that
yuppies are people too?
A: Ah, a question requiring that AnswerMan consult his dictionary.
Umbrage..hmm... genocidal..hmm. OK, got it. You're upset, right? Hey, we only report
possible futures, we don't make them. Now, aren't you running late for an appointment with
your stockbroker?
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