Volume XIII
Issue 7
July 2010

Copyright © 1998-2010
The Globe-Guardian
All Rights Reserved
ISSN: 1525-6316

What the...?
Question: What in the world is this new publication? What kind of a diseased mind could possibly conceive of such a thing?
Answer: A very good question, indeed. Attempting to pull these pages together is a poor wretch who is still recovering from nearly two decades in community journalism (the horror! the horror!). He must be pitied. As the victim of a shattered mind, he decided that he would like to add a little fun to his life. What better place than the World Wide Web? He is, needless to say, not to be taken seriously. Only through numerous aliases, changes of address and elaborate disguises has he managed to avoid capture, conviction and incarceration as a danger to himself and society. He should be given some latitude as you examine his observations, rantings and generally asynchronous syntax. He currently works in the silicone rubber industry in order to become familiar with the material which will line the room he eventually expects to inhabit.

Reality Check
Q: Call me skeptical, but a lot of what I've read in your "Pseudonews Review" section seems to be, well, made up. Is any of this stuff actually on the level?
A: Not a very good question, at all. First day with the new brain? The answer to this question can be found in the definition of "pseudo," a prefix found in your common, everyday, household dictionary. Look it up. Do not ask this question again. It is not wise to anger Answerman.

Future View
Q: Seeing as how this is your first edition, how can you possibly have any questions to
answer? Are you clairvoyant or something?
A: An excellent question. How about you? How can you possibly have submitted a question about a publication before it existed? In truth, Answerman cannot see into the future, at least not very far. However, Answerman's job description includes the requirement that he anticipate questions and fabricate advance answers. By the way, the answer to your next question is: "Tomorrow, and it's really going to hurt like the dickens."

[ Home ]