Question: I understand that the warnings which come with many medications these
days are so long and complex that even doctors aren't reading them. Isn't this a
AnswerMan: A pillaging question. Yes, this is a most troublesome trend, but it
is one that is likely to continue as long as pharmaceutical firms continue to market
instant solutions for everything from blocking fat digestion to alleviating social
anxiety. Hey, did you hear that a new pill out there can make you smarter? The only known
side effect is instant recognition that taking these things is a bad idea.
Erectile Dysfunction Junction
Q: Wow. I see that a study has revealed that older men with larger waists are
twice as likely to experience problems with attaining erections. My waist size is 52.
Should I be concerned about my love life?
A: An uppity question. Not to worry, mon ami. Another study has shown that men
with 42-inch or larger waists are four times more likely to have no need for erections.
Q: What's all this controversy over the Confederate flag? Shouldn't states be
allowed to fly any flags they want?
A: A rebelliously racy question. You're absolutely correct. In fact, I think
states like the Carolinas, Georgia and Mississippi should be allowed to secede from the
Union and form their own country to underwrite their flag-flying rights. I mean, it's not
like anyone would ever fight a war over something like that.
Q: My high school newspaper absolutely raved about my performance as Jud Fry in
Oklahoma! Does the current strike involving professional actors and advertisers present a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me?
A: A striking question. Television and radio advertising agencies are, in fact,
using non-union actors as well as actual consumers to star in their commercials while the
dispute continues. How about doubling your chances of success by offering your skills as
an actor portraying a consumer? You could claim that you are offering a two-for-one sale.
How could any advertising agency worth its salt possibly resist a pitch like that?
Q: I've been a sci-fi aficionado since I could read. I want my cremated remains
to follow those of my hero, Gene Roddenberry, into space. Is this possible?
A: An uplifting question. Thank your lucky stars. For the bargain basement
price of only $12,500, you can have as much of your ashes as can be crammed into a
lipstick size capsule placed aboard a commercial rocket launched by Celestis Inc. and
crashed on the moon. Your capsule, along those with those of approximately 200 others will
be scattered along the lunar landscape. Live long and prosper.
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